I React to Discovering Vana and Her Song “Clandestine”

After several listens to Vana’s “Clandestine,” each playthrough peels back another layer of its complex emotional fabric, revealing a song that resonates deeply with haunting introspection and dark poeticism. Initially, the song presents itself as an immersive exploration into themes of despair and the spectral vestiges of the self, which grow increasingly discernible and profound by the third listen.

Vana crafts “Clandestine” with a tapestry of somber lyrics, underpinned by a sound that is both atmospheric and foreboding. The opening verse, “I’m visionary / I’ve seen it in my dreams,” immediately sets the stage for a narrative that is intensely personal and introspective. The imagery of one’s own apparition reflecting back and the flickering lights in darkness evokes a profound sense of duality – the external perception versus the internal reality.

By the time the pre-chorus hits, the lyrical depth becomes overwhelming, “I can’t remember how it felt to be alive / And now I’m haunted by the thoughts of suicide.” These lines are a turning point where the narrative shifts from a vague dream-like state to a more distressing confrontation with one’s demons. The shift from viewing life in vibrant color to shades of gray metaphorically paints a picture of life losing its vibrancy, its essence slowly fading into the monochrome.

The chorus is where Vana’s lyricism shines brightest, utilizing the physical sensations of faintness and speechlessness to mirror the psychological and emotional turmoil within. “Now I’m feeling faint / Can’t think of words to say” suggests an overwhelming sense of existential weight that words fail to capture, while the imagery of wanting to “fade away” and “taste on my bullet” introduces a stark, chilling confrontation with mortality.

By the song’s final act, the refrain and repeated choruses serve not just as a lyrical recapitulation but as a deeper descent into the psyche. The refrain, “Bury me / Cover me in ashes,” conveys a desire to return to the earth, to escape the pain through a metaphorical death and rebirth. It’s a lyrical embodiment of the cycle of decay and growth, of dust returning to dust.

Musically, “Clandestine” complements its lyrical darkness with a moody, ambient sound that envelops the listener. The instrumentation is layered and not overly intricate, mirroring the complexity of the emotions being unpacked. However the focus is solely on her, bright amid the darkness of the snow, in a kind of modern sensualized candy for the viewer. The use of minor keys amid this video and her particular show is slow and deliberate pacing, which creates an almost claustrophobic atmosphere, enhancing the song’s themes of entrapment and escape.

Ultimately, “Clandestine” is a showcase in uncanny ways to the human condition’s darker sides, the hidden corners of our minds, and the shadows within that shape our existential experiences. It’s a song that doesn’t just aim to entertain but to evoke and provoke—a bold, artistic statement from Vana that lingers long after the last note fades.

Lyrics

Verse 1
I'm visionary
I've seen it in my dreams
My eyes roll back and see what
I'm to be complete
Your apparition is reflected on me
The lights will flicker in the dark
Breathe
I can't escape you now my body's losing heat
And soon enough you'll stop my heart

Pre-Chorus
I can't remember how it felt to be alive
And now I'm haunted by the thoughts of suicide
I used to see in color
Now I just see in shades of grey

Chorus
Now I'm feeling faint
Can't think of words to say
I know you're trying to see through my opaque
Just wanna fade away
My feelings seem arcane
I just wanna pick up the gun
And taste on my bullet
Leadenеd and rusted
Silver lined tragеdy
Haunting me
Bury me in a clandestine garden

Verse 2
The dirt will break away
Calcium and decay
And no one's gonna smell my blood
The trail's going cold now
I'm left here on my own now

Pre-Chorus
Seeking all the demons now I wanna rest in peace
I feel my body fall apart
Leave and shut the door behind you
Swallow down the key
And leave the lock chained to my heart
(And leave the lock chained to my heart)

Chorus
Now I'm feeling faint
Can't think of words to say
I know you're trying to see through my opaque
Just wanna fade away
My feelings seem arcane
I just wanna pick up the gun
And taste on my bullet
Leadened and rusted
Silver lined tragedy
Haunting me
Bury me in a clandestine garden

Refrain
Bury me
Cover me in ashes
We go from dust to dust
And yet we rot
Six feet under
Lulling me into an earthy slumber
Take me
Up to the altar
Sacrifice me
(Don't wanna think about it)
Take my life please
(Don't wanna think about it)
(I'm standing in the panic)

Pre-Chorus
I used to see in color
Now I just see in shades of grey

Chorus
Now I'm feeling faint
Can't think of words to say
I know you're trying to see through my opaque
Just wanna fade away
My feelings seem arcane
I just wanna pick up the gun
And taste on my bullet
Leadened and rusted
Silver lined tragedy
Haunting me
Bury me in a clandestine garden